"Therapists can be the hardest clients. We are trained in this stuff, so we can tell if our therapist is phoning it in. We need therapists who are more skilled than us, because by the time we go to a therapist, we have already tried to therapize ourselves like we were our own client. Sadly, the “Physician: heal thyself!” model doesn’t work as neatly as one might expect. This is where we need something that sounds new and different. Even with all this knowledge, sometimes we feel stuck and don't know where to start.
I shared a painful situation with Jordana where I already knew what the “listicles” and Psychology Today articles would tell me, because they’re designed for laypeople, not a seasoned therapist like myself (I cringe at my arrogance). Also, I didn’t want to hear anything about yoga, Louise Hay, turmeric, essential oils, or any circle of life/spiritual/wholistic practice culturally appropriated and watered-down by white women for fun and profit. She must have sensed this, because her suggestions were of the nuts-and-bolts practical variety.
She asked questions I hadn’t thought to ask myself (hmmmmm, so I really hadn’t thought of everything, had I?). She shared options based on my answers and on what she has observed to be helpful in situations similar to mine. She used story as a way to connect situations and instill hope. Finally, she honored my experience and how difficult it was. I was able to choose a low-stakes activity that got me unstuck, and she has continued to encourage and cheerlead with every baby step I have taken. I’m grateful to count Ms. Del Feld as a longtime friend (27 years since we met!), a member of my support system, and a truly enjoyable fellow human. I cannot recommend her highly enough!"